Back in sunny England town

As far as people go I'd say I'm one of the luckiest. I may not have the looks of Claudia Schiffer or the brain of Steven Hawkins or indeed the entreprenerial skills of Richard Branson, but I do know some of the best people in the world and I've seen some really fantastic places and eaten some dam fine food. All that being the case, I still sometimes can't help feeling sad. Freezing my arse off on yet another red-eye, budget flight, but this time all by myself, is one of those occasions.

Life is great and this I know, but leaving the person you love at the airport to travel to the other side of the world still sucks! I can't turn to the old faithful security blanket they call coffee to help me out this time because I know from experience that drinking coffee with over 24 hours of travelling still to go only serves to bite you on the arse later. So there I was, in Kuala Lumpur airport, with 8 hours of the night still to wait, cradling a green tea and picking apart a club sandwich. I got the club even though I don't like chicken because it was the only sandwich on granary bread and I suddenly had an overwhelming craving for granary bread. I sat in the 24 hour Starbucks scrawling in my battered little notebook, dwelling on all the good things in my life so I didn't feel so sad. As I sat and dwelled and munched my sandwich (with the chicken all picked out), I couldn't believe how many people were sat engrossed in their laptops. Literally every single person in that Starbucks, it was like some kind of non-talking, computer-watching convention. Half of them had some kind of technological device I didn't even recognise! It seems a bizarre world to me as I watch people watch their screens. But then I am but a backwards Cornish lass who probably needs to catch up with the rest of the world. I bet they didn't feel sad, not with their laptops for company!

Touching down many hours later in Stansted was a wonderful moment - coming home! It was a bit grey, a bit drizzly. I wouldn't have had it any other way! I love England, don't ask me why because really I have no answer, but I do. I was amused to have come from countries where you arrive to signs warning of death for any drug traffickers. The UK landing card warns: 'If you break laws you could face imprisonment and removal.' Touch talk England, tough talk!

I arrived to see Celina's beautiful face clutching a much needed cup of coffee for my welcome home. I was feeling very patriotic and was delighted to see that London had pulled out all the stops for my return, union jacks lined the streets for me. Ok, maybe more for the Royal wedding, but I like to think they were a little bit for me too.

Since I've been home, everything delights me. I bounced into the train station to buy myself a ticket into central London once I left Celina's and my cheerful enthusiasm was met with a distainful, bored face that could only be seen on a Londoner. Yep, it's good to be home! I'm not entirely over my sadness, I miss Brett every single day. I wouldn't say that I feel like I'm missing a limb or anything because I'm still myself without him, it's just not quite the same. Not quite as good. To me, it's like having a really good cup of coffee in the morning, perfectly satisfactory by itself. But now, if you were to add a freshly baked pastry to go with that coffee, then you have a match made in heaven and everything is just that little bit better. To me, Brett is the freshly baked pastry. And in my world, that is love!

The last day :-(

Man alive, the last 4 days have gone by like 4 minutes and before I know it, we've checked out of our last guest house for the last time and got but a few hours until we're airport bound.

We've had awesome last few days in sunny Bali, we spent a couple of days in Kuta, then migrated over to Sanur (the posh side). We arrived at around mid-day (what's the point of not having to check out until 12pm unless you make full use of the room until then) and it was hot - dam hot! Everywhere affordable and nice seemed to be full which left us with scabby and expensive. Brett, like a knight in shining armor, missioned it down the road in the heat and found us a perfect guest house with a nice room, a pool, all very idyllic and tranquil , and also affordable! So there we've been staying - at the Swastika Guesthouse! I can't quite get used to saying we're staying at the Swastika Guesthouse, but the symbol did have nice connotations before it was tainted by the natsi (I have no idea how to spell natsi) swines so I guess it's kind of nice to go back to being positive about it.Yesterday we went on a beach crawl, today we're thinking a massage is in order.

Now, I feel I'm just rambling on - I feel all emotional. I've looked forward for so long to going home and I really can't wait to see everyone, but the reality of leaving Brett, who I've lived with for over a year now sucks! Stupid, sucky Australia - why does it have to be on the other side of the world?! I need a drink, a massage and a drink that's what! Anyway, might as well be positive - I have so much to look forward to in sunny England (and it better be sunny because the only shoes I own are flip flops). Plus, it's better to have him in the other side of the world than not have him at all!

So, pep talk to self done, positive thinking all the way! We have but a few hours left in Bali so I'm getting the hell off this computer and into the sunshine!

A few suitcases under our eyes

Here we are where we started - Bali again! I'd love to say that I had a whole load of witty anecdotes and stories to tell, but that would just be a big fat lie. At least this time I have an excuse, as I think I'm knocking on 48 hours of no sleep (I think 48 hours because right now trying to actually do the maths is defeating me).

We left Cambodia having spectacularly failed to sort anything with the local Police that may help our insurance claim and also spectacularly failed to buy any souvenirs from Cambodia. We completed our 14 hours bus journey across Cambodia and to Bangkok with a group of nice people and one quintessential charmless man (not sure if that quite makes sense but it's all the words my brain can come up with at this stage in the game). This guy (who I'm ashamed to say was English) was really just repulsive, he was unforgivably rude to locals and bent our ears the whole journey with his tales of woe. He had a motorbike crash and told anyone in shouting distance about how it was the other bastard's fault, but the bastard police don't do anything to help (why ever would they not rush to the aid of such a pleasant, charming soul?!). He also told us about the local girl he hooked up with (as you do, you know - with a wink at the lads) she promptly robbed him of his laptop while he slept - that's karma! When we boarded the bus at the Thai side of the border, he produced a joint he'd "accidentally" smuggled through customs. Like I said, a real charmer!

The journey itself was picturesque but painfully long and cramped. Brett, who isn't really built for mini bus seats at the best of times, is now a broken man. He spent too long on the beach playing with the local kids and throwing them off his shoulders into the sea. They loved it but he is now paying for it with some kind of seized neck injury. He looks like robo man walking around. After the bus, it was pretty much straight to the airport for us, followed by a few hours wait in the freezing cold - why they need to crank up the air con in the airport in the middle of the night with only a few dregs of people around is beyond me!

Now we're back in lovely Bali and we've found a guesthouse with a pool no less. It also turns out it's a sociable guesthouse and they're all going out together. Why, why do we meet the sociable ones when we need to sleep?! Well I'm not giving in - I need sleep! Well, food first, then sleep!

The boat that sank

Yesterday down in Sihanukville we decided to take up an offer to join a booze cruise. This in itself sounds kind of cheesy, a bit 18 year party kid wannabe and I suppose a potential recipe for disaster. Still, we were lured in by the promise of food and drinks and a chance to go to see some islands all for $10. Ferry tickets in themselves were more expensive and without the food and drinks. Decision made, we clambered on to this rickety, 2-tiered wooden boat, no worries - after all they specialise in dodgy, rickety boats in Asia.

We were actually having a really good time, there were good people, and not just 18 year olds, we had a drink, we had a swim and then the bloody boat only went and capsized! Literally as quick as that, one minute I was chatting to people and Brett had gone to the bar, the next minute a massive gush of water came through the boat and I remember watching my bag shoot past me and thought "shit, now my bag's soaked" and then I was submerged. It did get kind of scary for a minute then, I had been on the bottom tier of the boat and finding myself submerged, I instinctively went to swim upwards only to find the floor of the boat on the water above my head. I opened my eyes under water but couldn't see anything but water, no people, no nothing. Now I'm not always the sharpest knife in the draw, I paused for a second and thought well someone had better do something here - we're surrounded by bloody water. It then occurred to me that I may not have time to wait for someone to do something, I may have to do something myself. I definitely considered panicking for a minute but figured that may not help the situation, so I took myself off to try to squeeze through the bars that had been the side of the boat. I got my head through and then got stuck so had to wriggle out and try swimming down further, I found a gap, swam for my little life and came bobbing out in the sea. There were just a sea of heads, plus boat debris. Luckily I saw Brett almost straight away, he had it far worse than me having to wait while I put 2 and 2 together and get the hell out of the boat, he'd been frantically searching and not finding me. Well, I never have been one to rush!

Anyway, there we were shipwrecked in the sea, somewhere off the coast of Cambodia, somewhat wide eyed and shell shocked, floating amongst crates of beer and soggy burger buns and a whole load of flip flops. Apparently there were also rats shipwrecked along with us but I was spared the pleasure of seeing any myself. I was so relieved to see Brett, but then I started panicking about the girl who'd been standing next to me. We found her and then pretty much floated and watched our old, wooden boat sink into the sea. No sign of my bag, which at this point wasn't important at all but yet there's still a part of me that was thinking of my camera and my shorts and my only pair of shoes that had been in that bag. People were scrabbling to grab beers, I, thinking we may be in it for the long haul, saved a crate of water. Actually we can't have floated for more than 10 minutes before local boats started appearing to our rescue. All in all, it was no Titanic but it felt pretty dramatic at the time. Some people were a bit concussed and a fair few were crying. Me and Brett and a lovely girl called Celina climbed onto a rescue boat with the last of the stragglers, when I say climbed, there was no dignified way to get onto the dam boat, so to add insult to injury, I was dragged head first, feet up in the air onto the boat. Then we made our way back to shore. The guys who rescued us couldn't have been nicer, they produced a bag full of cigarettes and handed them out and generally looked after us.

Back on land it was quite a nice atmosphere, everyone pretty much happy to be alive and rallying round to help each other. We all stank of diseal, which had been leaking out from the boat into the sea. And man alive, that smell's hard to get out! We'd given my bag up as a goner when this dude came walking through clutching it - I could have kissed him! Everything was saturated, my camera's as dead as a dodo but it was still good to have my bag back! Local kids were swarming round wanting to know what happened and one gave me a bracelet - I said no, I had no money to pay him and he said it was free - a gift for good luck. We're still really hoping that everyone made it ok, we're 99% sure, but being Asia, there was no official disaster plan or very efficient way of keeping track of people. We had a bit of a survivors party afterwards. We still never got to see an island, but hey - its not every day you get shipwrecked!

RIP camera!

By the seaside

Now we are beside the seaside and life is good! It took the best part of another day's worth of bus journey to get us here, but get here we did. (and treated ourselves to a wee impromtu night out to celebrate - think my t-total days are truly behind me now!) There's not too much to be said about our past 2 days of bus rides, it's a lovely way to travel in Cambodia - the scenery is beautiful and rural, the ticket cheap and the onboard entertainment (all in Cambodian) pretty dam funny. There's absolutely no chance of going to sleep and missing any scenery because the drivers are well trained in excessive use of the horn. They hare along the country roads, horn blaring, people and traffic scattering to make way. The only living thing that is going to slow that bus down is cows, we passed a fair few herds and then the bus stops entirely and patiently waits while a whole herd of cows make their leisurely way across the road.

We arrived in Sihanoukville which is supposed to be the tourist mecca of Cambodia. We were actually pleasantly surprised how undeveloped it is. The beach is lined with plenty of bars and guesthouses but there's still a fair few that are nice ramshackle huts - it hasn't been developed to within an inch of it's life (yet!). Last night we stumbled across a cool, grungy style bar with dangerously cheap drinks and chatty people so we sort of never left. Well, that's a lie - we eventually left when my stomach commanded and I dragged us off in search of food. The food we found was from this awesome BBQ shack, I ordered chips and the lady actually got a potato, chopped it up and fried it up - right then and there. I have never in all my nights out ever found a place that serves up freshly cut potato chips to the drunken masses, I'm pretty sure I went on about this fact a lot! I was also kind of ashamed at the amount of tourists from all over the world who came up and were just plain rude to the nice people cooking the chips. Drunk people really don't make the nicest people but still there's no excuse to speak rudely to the people who are up at 3 in the bloody morning, cooking chips, earning pittance and putting up with drunken imbeciles!

Today we have eaten and played on the beach and just thinking about eating again. We were planning on travelling on to one of the islands here but right now that seems like unnecessary effort and our budget's really tight so we may just stay put and enjoy for a day or so.

Happy hour

Oh how our best laid plans do fall apart! So I neither educated myself on the history of Cambodia nor cycled to Angkor Wat on the intended day, all because we found 2 4 1 cocktails! Typical bloody English abroad! All I can say is I'm easily lead astray! So we had a good night living it up in Siem Reap (on cocktails no less, that's not cheap beer, but real cocktails!) it was just me, Brett and another couple we met. We bonded over food and then a Dr Fish treatment (where you stick your feet in a tank of water and fish eat away at the dead skin - yum!), then we discovered cocktails and the rest was history!

We did finally cycle to Angkor Wat and had an exhausting but very good day exploring temples and ruins. It was a pretty special experience. The more time we spend in Cambodia, the more we like it, it's a beautiful place with lovely culture (though I could still really do with learning more). The levels of poverty are quite shocking though and while on our first day we met the cheeky kids who'll ask you for a coin or 2, we've since come across the really desperate kids carrying babies, hanging on to you and begging for you to buy food and baby milk. It's really hard to handle and I really don't know the best thing to do. There are just not enough dollars to go round everyone here! Brett got followed down the street by a little girl who kept saying he was a bad man because he didn't have the money to buy her postcards!

Now we've arrived in Pnom Penn and just about to go and explore. I'd spend longer writing but I'm in some rustic internet room with no air con and a few dubious looking creatures hanging around so I'm making my escape.

Cambodia

Yesterday did not start out good, not good at all! Our alarm went off at an extremely unsociable 6.16am, I woke up with a slightly dodgy stomach - never the best way to begin a 12 hour bus journey! I insisted that the best thing to do was line the stomach (usually the cure for everything in my book) so we went to some scabby cafe on Kao San road to get some breakfast. The stomach decided to reject the toast and coffee that I fed it, making me dash off to the toilet. I half walked/half ran in the door labelled toilet only to be faced with 2 urinals (definitely not suitable for my purposes) and one hole-in-the-ground toilet. This wouldn't have been the end of the world, except for the fact that the "toilet" had a good splattering of poo not only inside but also around where your feet are supposed to go. Of course I walked out again, but tragically realised that I basically had no choice, I really needed a toilet. With some seriously impressive use of thigh muscles and some very careful positioning of my feet, I managed to use the toilet (thank god I had my own toilet roll!) I washed my hands, only to then walk out and bump into the toilet door labelled "ladies." That is some bad karma to start the day!

We set off on a mini bus only an hour or so late (not too bad by Thai standards). Luckily from this point on, things improved a lot. We had a really good journey, with only 3 other people and the stomach behaved itself (probably scared into submission by the thought of another toilet hell hole!) We had all heard stories of scams and dodgy officials at the Thai/ Cambodia crossing. We built this up so much that by the time it came to cross, we felt like we were going into battle, we had established battle ranks and made sure noone got left behind, every form was scanned suspiciously. As it was, we passed through scam-free and unscathed. The most traumatic thing was trucks loaded down with pigs crossing at the same time as us, all piled on top of each other and squealing away as they went to meet their fate. (I swear this trip will turn me into a vegan).

The bus journey through Cambodia was quicker than we thought, passing through lots of very flat countryside and picturesque little farming communities. The only slight concern was the bus company owner who drank a can of beer when we stopped and then proceeded to sway about in the aisle, doing borat impressions and stage whispering that we could go to him for some good price wacky backy (we declined). As long as he hadn't been drinking with the driver then I guess it's all good.

We arrived in Siem Reap and we like it here a lot! We have a fantastic guesthouse for just $8 a night, complete with hot water and a TV (which means Brett can flick through the cartoon networks to his heart's content). The people here are a breath of fresh air after Bangkok, especially the children. They have so much character and flock around trying to sell you stuff for coins. They are like little entrepreneurs - they never miss a trick and they can banter easily in near-perfect english but they are extremely good natured and everything is said and done with genuine good humour.

Siem Reap itself is just lovely, set alongside a river, they have beautiful trees and buildings, with a definite french influence. We were quite surprised how many expensive hotels there are here, knowing how poor he country is. Brett and I rented bikes today and cycled around town, crossing down a street at one end of the river we came across the poor side of town, with shanty style housing and markets. It still had a real charm to it though. Brett is in his element again, cruising around, chatting to other cyclists as he rides and high-fiving kids. I, on the other hand, have to put all my concentration into just riding straight and not getting myself killed by a tuk tuk or motorbike or any other such deadly contractions. So far though we have survived and have plans to cycle out to Angor Wat tomorrow (7kms on rickety bikes with no gears - what could possible be a better idea?!)

For tonight, I want to go to see a short film that they show to outline the history of Cambodia and the genocide. That's right - I'm going to educate my limited brain! The maybe some ice cream.

The paradise land

Geez, we have earthquakes to the north, floods to the south, our Guest house owner, Mr Miaggi, prophesising about the end of the world in 2012 - I think it's time to get the hell out of Thailand! Trouble is, that's proving easier said than done. I mean, we had a plan. The plan was to get to Bangkok and then travel down to Malaysia for some culinery delights and blue seas, only that's no longer a good option, with reports of whole roads being washed away down south. We can't afford to fly to Vietnam, haven't got time to go back up north, so decision has been made - we are going to Cambodia. 8 am tomorrow morning, with bags full of healthy road snacks, we will be getting on a bus bound for Cambodia. With any luck avoiding fighting at the Thailand/Cambodia border and on to Siem Reap. Here's hoping that Siem Reap has some good food and coffee to offer.

It's a bit scary how near we're getting to the end of our trip. For months now I've been dreaming of England, remembering through my rose tinted glasses the culture, the pubs, the fish and chips. England to me when I'm away morphs from this cold, rainy country of football yobbos and grey streets to a disney-like paradise land. I spend so many of our long journeys thinking of how much I miss people and how much they mean to me and how it'd been too long since I've been home. I am still excited to be going home and I can't wait to see everyone and drink wine and eat cheese. One big problem is I have to leave Brett behind, which kind of sucks! Sure, he doesn't pay proper attention to my breakfast needs, but he is pretty good to have around and we've kind of got used to always being together. If all the people I love could just live in one bloody country, life would be so much easier! Still, I suppose life isn't meant to be easy. If I just buy a private jet then all my problems are solved! And in the meantime, there's some good times in Cambodia to be had.

Back to Bangkok

Finally - we did it, we spent a night on public transport and actually slept! All it took was approximately 48 hours without sleep and a reasonable sized hangover and we were both dead to the world for a good 8 hours.

We left our lovely hippy party land of Pai on a good note. We went to a half moon party somewhere deep in the forest. This then turned into an all-nighter but through no fault of our own. With some classic Thai stretching of the truth, there was actually no half moon, barely even a quarter moon, but there was definitely a party. The leaflets all said "Don't drink and drive - free taxi." What they didn't say was that it was a free taxi service to get there and then you were abandoned in the middle of bloody nowhere in the depths of the Thai forest with no "free taxi" home. By the time we'd realised this fact at the end of the night, we were watching the sun come up. There are definitely worse places to be abandoned than in some beautiful mountainside clearing, sitting by a log fire with some good people and music, but it did nothing for our chances of sleep.

By the time we got back to our bungalow at about 7 in the morning, the logical thing, according to me, was to abandon sleep and just get a good, big breakfast before we had to get the bus back to Chiang Mai. The logical thing,according to Brett, was to crash out on the bed for an hour as a last, desperate attempt to get some sleep. This apparently "essential" hour of sleep resulted in us having no time for proper breakfast. Oh boy, was I cranky! Ironically, all night people kept going on about what a good couple we were and how laid back. Ha - that was before they saw me when I missed my morning coffee and breakfast! Then cheerful and laidback goes out the window! Brett tried to console me by buying cheese toasties from the 7/11 for breakfast. The more he tried to convince me this was a satisfactory breakfast, the crankier I got. We may well be all chilled and friendly, but you mess with my breakfast or his sleeping then things get messy!

Anyway, we're now back in Bangkok, relatively well rested. This is probably a good thing for my health as Pai was taking us on a spiralling road of partying, alcohol and bad cheese toasties. I can't say Bangkok inspires me like it used to - I miss the north of Thailand where things were more laid back and the people friendlier. Now though we have to make a decision where to go next, the bus to Malaysia is looking most likely. One thing's for certain - I'm going on a health kick. No more alcohol and no more scoffing junk food because I get bored sitting for hours on a train! It's fruit and sesame seeds all the way now! (Well, not all the way but maybe some of the way).

Life in Pai

Hmm, it seems that we have crossed some line and morphed from normal respectable (ish) people into hippy wanderers, completely by accident! I'm not sure quite what went wrong. We were always pretty relaxed and having a good time travelling but you could at least rely on my constant appetite to keep us to some kind of routine, eg. having at least 3 meals a day and getting up at a reasonable hour for breakfast. Now, we are living in this timeless state of contentedness where nothing seems to matter. I forget about lunch, Brett's trying on crazy hippy trousers - it's all a bit worrying.

We left Chiang Mai and took a long, windy road through the mountains to Pai, which is a small little hippy town in Northern Thailand and we have been living in this very chilled, almost dream like state ever since. Our last morning in Chiang Mai was the beginning of our morphing. We got up and went for a late breakfast and then we just never moved. The day drifted on, we drank coffee, we got talking to some aging travellers from England with some good stories, we drank more coffee and then at 3.30 we drifted over buzzing with caffeine to get our bus.

Pai is a beautiful place full of little souvenir shops, coffee shops and bars with a mainly reggae theme. We are staying in a little bamboo bungalow across a rickety bamboo bridge by a river and a whole managerie of crazy biting bugs just to stop it being too idyllic. We've met some good people and found a good place and could probably happily drift on like this for a very long time. Luckily, we have no choice but to be dragged back to some kind of normality as we have the night train back to Bangkok booked for Monday. For now though we have a half moon party tonight and just time for some coffee and snacks first.

Oh, and quickly - back to the elephants! This was a few days ago now so I have to sift through the fog in my brain to remember what we did. We went to the conservation park and got to meet with real elephants. They are just beautiful animals. They are also amazingly agile and intelligent (so there goes the affinity with elephants I always imagined I'd have). We went trekking through the woods, played with the baby elephant, visited the elephant hospital and made some elephant dung paper. It was an amazing day! Oh, and we had a wee earthquake tremor which did nothing for my dream-like state. I was convinced someone had slipped something into my lipton ice tea - it was a relief when it turned out to be an earthquake!

The day we caught the train

Another day, another train, another place!

We arrived in Chiang Mai as broken shadows of our former selves. The truth is that we had just a bit too much of a good time in Bangkok, rarely making it to bed before 3am. We then caught the 10pm train to Chaing Mai. This train was a luxury model compared to what we had in Java - we had real beds and pillows and sheets - all mod cons! Even the toilets didn't smell too bad. But could we bloody sleep?! Nope, not a wink! I swear we are just incompetent travellers! First, I felt really claustrophobic as the carriage had just a narrow walkway, lined with bunk beds and hideous green curtains, which looked like something out of a hospital ward, or as someone helpfully pointed out, a horror film. Once the train eventually got moving (an hour or so late), the breeze came through so I felt better, that was until the wind blowing my hair kept tickling my face and my latest mysterious flea bites started itching - pathetic but true! For Brett, the lights were too bright and the beds too short, the fans too much of a decapitation risk. Like I said - just incompetent all round! In the bright light of day, with an early morning cup of coffee, you could really appreciate the soothing clicking of the train and the lovely scenery. Some of the places we passed were so charming - it was almost like passing through toy town with colourful stations and lush greenery and just the odd person in a wide straw hat and the odd cow.

People we met in Bangkok recommended a guest house in Chiang Mai that's turned out to be almost too good to be true. The place is cheap and cheerful and friendly. We get free coffee and free drinking water, a cool little balcony, free bikes to use and a colourful wee reggae bar attached. It seemed like a surreal joke at first when we arrived, tired as we were. The place is called the Giant Guesthouse and the tiniest guy I've ever seen turned up to meet us, clutching the sign "Giant." We then piled into his car (also with "Giant" written on) - now me and Brett aren't the smallest people in the world but we're not the biggest either and we were like little sardines squished into the front seat of this tiny vehicle. The poor guy couldn't move into second gear without hitting my leg. On route, we watched a tuk tuk and a car collide right in front of us and the tuk tuk bounced onto it's head and down the road. I'm pretty sure noone was too hurt but it was a bit too much of a dramatic start to the day for our frazzled heads.

Chiang Mai itself just feels like heaven. We enjoyed Bangkok while we were there, but this is just a completely different world. It's relaxed and friendly and really quite a hippy town. There's lots of little garden cafes, loads of bookshops, a few arts and crafts, plenty of temples and lots of massage and meditation type places all contained in the old part of town, which is surrounded by a moat. I'm in my element! Last night I treated myself to a whole glass of red wine with dinner - my first red wine (or wine of any kind for that matter) for far too many months. That the wine cost double what my meal cost is irrelevant, and that it was probably the cheapest, crappest wine out there did not matter, for it was wine, lovely red wine. I had the best sleep last night!

For tomorrow we have booked to go to the Elephant Conservation Centre, we shopped around and booked through an eco tour place so we can be pretty sure they really work in the best interest of the elephants. It's the most expensive splashing out in our trip yet (even more than the wine) but I'm so excited that we're off to see elephants!

Cabbages and Condoms

Time has flown since we've been living it up in Bangkok so I'll have to backtrack a couple of days.
It was say maybe two days ago that I dragged Brett half way around Bangkok in search of a restaurant called Cabbages and Condoms. I read about this place in the Lonely Planet and for some reason decided to make it my mission to find it. I think maybe I'm just a sucker for a catchy title, but the reason behind the name is also really good. It was all started as a means of raising awareness and money to encourage family planning here in Thailand. It has now developed into a huge NGO, working on many projects, including work to combat the spread of AIDs and support the use of condoms. Finding this place took the best part of our day but I reckon it was a day well spent. Plus, the food was lovely and set in a tranquil garden area and you got free condoms with your meal (not really sure what they're suggesting there but still it's a novelty!)

Hmm, what have we done since then?! One of us (and when I say one of us, I mean Brett) can't handle his Thai beer so had a great night in Bangkok followed by a great day seeing the inside of our little room (lightweight!). The other one of us, being infinitely more sophisticated and able to handle her alcohol, had a good cultural day of more art galleries and temples. I also wandered my way through a demonstration of the pro-democracy people who all wear red T-shirts. I'm a bit hazy on exactly what the political situation is here (awesome politics graduate that I am!), I'm pretty sure that I promised my support to the red t-shirt people I chatted to but maybe I'll do a bit more research before I put my money where my mouth is! Either way, it made for an interesting wander.

Last night back, a group of us went out to watch the moon from the bridge (the moon being specially bright) and then went on to an all-you-can-eat buffet - Thai style! This was surely just an open invitation for everyone to get serious food poisening. We all seemed to have escaped this fate but I'm sure it was just freakishly good luck rather than any kind of judgement. The place was located right on the water's edge and beautifully lit (the Thais sure are good at a good light display!). It was also massive and hot and loud and oh so very smokey! The concept is that you have hot burner things in the middle of your table and then you go and fetch all of your raw food and cook it yourself. To get food, you queue until someone gets bored of the queueing process and then it just seems to be a free-for-all. It all takes a bit of getting used to. Beginning, as I did, hungry and faced with a table full of raw meat and veggies, I was so disappointed. Somehow it all works though and the food is eventually really good and the hot, loud smokiness all adds to the atmosphere. We stuffed ourselves stupid, listened to some seriously cheesy live music and seem to have managed to escape food poisening.

Today, me and Brett took the boat, then the skytrain to the giant weekend market. It's a shoppers heaven with so much to see. Our stamina didn't last long though as it was hot and sweaty (Oh yeah - the cold spell is over, it's intense sweaty heat and grime all the way again). Now I'm hungry and my brain is fried from trying to upload photos onto this bloody computer so I'm going to collect the Australian (who is currently bending the ear of our poor German friend with an entire encyclopedia's worth of information on New Zealand) and get some food. Tomorrow is our last day in Bangkok before we get the night train up to Chiang Mai. Then we really need to decide where to go next!

A day in Bangkok

So here we are in Bangkok and it's absolutely bloody freezing! I don't know what went wrong, we arrived amidst intense heat and humidity and then on our first night we got caught out in a giant thunderstorm and now the temperature seems to have dropped about a million degrees. It's like a freak chill is settling over Bangkok! (Ok - it's not icy or snowing or anything, but I have had to fish out my wooly hat and live off hot soup to survive!) Brett meanwhile is cowering away in bed, apparently feeling ill but I know the truth is that he can't cope with anything under 20 degrees.

The thunderstorm made for a dramatic first night - When it rains here it really rains! We just ventured out for some food and before we knew it, we were running for cover, shin deep in water and soaked to the bone. After the rain stopped, there was a bizarre "calm after the storm" atmosphere with all of these soggy people emerging back onto the streets and the vendors gingerly unwrapping their soaked carts. A group of us staying at the guest house did the only thing we could in the circumstances and went to the nearest cafe for food and beers.

Yesterday, Brett and I began what was meant to be a cultural day and went quickly downhill. We caught the bus across town to go to a big art gallery. This had not only fantastic art but also the best toilets I've found to date in Thailand! We then thought we'd have a quick look at the giant shopping centre known as MBK as we were so close. There we seemed to digress in years and spent a while playing on the network of escalators before enjoying a wholesome lunch of chocolate donuts and coffee.

I got my hair cut, which was a necessary evil as it had started to form dreadlocks, but was still a less than enjoyable experience. It all started out fine, I confirmed the price of a cut and blow dry and went to have my hair washed. Before she started to cut my hair, the hairdresser spent a good while trying to convince me that I really need highlights and my hair would look much better for a bit of bleach for just 2000 baht. I managed to decline long enough for her to give up, until half way through cutting it was apparently essential that I spend just 800 baht on a special hair treatment "very nice for me and very good price." By the time I'd declined that and then also the special hair shine for just 200 baht, I think the hair dresser quite genuinely hated me and if she could have just yanked my hair right out of my head she would have! Still, I'm happy to say I now have less split ends and a semi-reputable hair cut.

To help me recover from my trauma and round off our cultural day in Bangkok, we took a spontaneous trip to watch Rango the cartoon at the cinema. The tickets were a fraction of what we'd pay at home and I'm sure the popcorn tasted better (probably full of highly illegal preservatives). We had to stand to pay tribute to the king before the film started, making it a cultural experience after all. After waiting over an hour to get the bus in the morning, when we saw our bus standing there to go home, we did a dramatic jump over the fence to jump on board. In this burst of fence-jumping activity, I managed to pull my skirt right down over my bum in front of the busy road. The least said about that the better, I prefer to treat the matter with my characteristic quiet dignity (and at least I was wearing good knickers!) We finished our day in Bangkok going to a little local street restaurant for cheap food and beer and free magic tricks - this creates a really nice atmosphere as everybody joins in and has a laugh and can generally eat, drink and be merry.

Now, me and Brett are trying to work out where we might fancy venturing after Thailand and where our budget and time will let us go next. Vietnam or Cambodia?

Las foo stop

Well after all that extensive researching we eventually got to Bangkok on the night bus rather than the train. We thought we'd just check with a travel agent to see what prices they could give us for the journey and it turns out the train (well at least the seats we could afford) was full anyway and the bus was half the price. So much for my foolproof plan of turning up at the train station and hopping on a train! With the help of a lovely lady boy travel agent we got sorted with tickets and here we are in the bright lights of Bangkok. (I'm confused as to whether lady boys should correctly be referred to as he or she - I guess "she" makes more sense) Anyway, she was so lovely and helpful, I have no regrets about missing the train experience (or a night of sleep) at all.

The 13 hour over-night bus journey was pretty painful but we had a good load of people to while the time away with. How people manage to sleep in so many weird, contorted positions is beyond me though. I mean, I try, but my body just won't cooperate - I start out in one position and my neck will start whinging that it hurts so I move and then my hand gets pins and needles so I move again and my hip starts clicking out of joint. And so it continues for 13 hours. It's like all of my bones and joints conspire against me to punish me for putting them there in the first place. Stupid high maintenance body parts!

By far the funniest part of the whole trip was our 1.45am break. By this time pretty much the whole bus is fast asleep (those with agreeable body parts obviously). There's a large restaurant type set up that apparently stays open just for the night buses, as such they make dam sure that they get there money's worth from us! Most people were rudely awoken by the bright lights flicking on the bus and then there's a shout up the bus that this is "the las foo stop." And in case anyone should have missed that, the driver parades around the bus bellowing "las foo stop" at the top of his lungs. Literally noone escapes. So there we are - all these half asleep passengers being practically force fed all manner of Thai food delights at 2am in the morning. To me and Brett, semi hysterical as we are from lack of sleep, this is still funny now! (It's the small things!)

We arrived in Bangkok at about 7 in the morning - a really nice time to arrive in a new place. There was a light rain which woke us up enough to stumble the streets and find somewhere to stay. And we seem to have got lucky with a lovely, friendly little guest house just off Kho San Road which is cheap and cheerful and has a nice little court yard so we can sit and chat, away from the constant hustle of the streets. And we even have a window this time (in fact two windows!).

Not only is there bigger and better food available in Bangkok, but the coffee is a million times better than down south. There, we mostly got by on some kind of instant shit and if you wanted anything nicer you paid for it. Today, we stopped at a little takeaway coffee place and asked for Thai style coffees. They were sweet and strong, oh so strong! I think that's what's keeping me going now 10 hours later. So far, Bangkok is seeming alright by us (wired on caffeine and dysfunctional as we may be!)

Cheese and red wine

We have now landed in Ao Nang after getting another ferry boat back from Phi Phi island. It is a lovely seaside town set in stunning cliff scenery with lots of pretty shops and good street food (which means we can afford to eat well, so we are both happy). The beach here doesn't quite live up to the island but then we have been pretty spoilt for beaches lately! We are staying in a wee hovel of a room with no window (which freaks me out) but hey, it's cheap and right now cheap is what we need! We're discovering that the tighter our travel budget gets, the more you can find really cheap accommodation if you try hard enough. You may have to be prepared to traipse the streets for a while and compromise on luxuries such as flushing toilets, but it's possible!

We spent our last night on Phi phi sitting on the beach and watching a fire throwing show while listening to reggae music. The thing with these parts of southern Thailand is that they are ridiculously touristy (at least the parts we've stuck to). But, the Thais do do touristy really well, with so many beach front places, beautifully set up and pretty lights everywhere and cheesy holiday music. We've just been enjoying it and going with the flow. I do have my doubts about how eco-friendly the hoards of ferry boats are, not to mention the fishing boats with their huge nets. Still, like I said, for now we're just going with the flow.

Earlier today we walked the length of the beach and ended up following some rickety old nature track up around the cliff (this was some wooden contraption that was built with a healthy disregard for health and safety). At the end of the track we found a wild monkey happily munching away on his lunch. The monkey's lunch was a super-size box of McDonalds fries. We have no idea whether the monkey was given the fries or got them himself, either way, we felt so at one with nature! The truth is that we can eat at all the little shack restaurants we want and gaze out at isolated, clear blue waters, but really you have to go a lot further than we have to escape the capitalist world. In reality, we are approximately 2 minutes away from a 24 hour McDonalds (where they even deliver) and about a street away from Starbucks. I don't know if this is reassuring or tragic, but at least the monkey seemed happy enough.

Tomorrow the plan is to head onwards and upwards to Bangkok. As ever, there seems to be next to no reliable information on times or fares. I have pretty much zero patience with searching the internet for this information. As such, my plan (just for a change) is to just go to the train station and see what we get from there. Brett has maybe marginally more patience and is still researching but I have a hunch we'll just be piling into the train station and hoping for the best.

I have absolutely no right to complain, especially with what we've seen on the news of Japan just now, but I still can't help my craving for red wine and cheese! We have so much good food here and enough coffee to keep the caffeine cravings at bay, but still it's been over a month now since I had any wine or any good cheese! And boy, do I ever miss my cheese and wine! Brett reckons this is a sign of my middle class, yuppy roots, but as this is coming from a grown man who spent a considerable amount of time earlier today chasing a crab around the beach, I won't be losing any sleep over his comments. The fact is that cheese and wine were an integral part of my life well before the uneducated Ozzy and long should they remain so. I won't say any more on the subject but if I could have one luxury item in my life right now, it would not be windows or flushing toilets, no - it would be cheese and red wine!

The trouble with having no money

The trouble with having no money tends to be that things cost money! Here we are in Thailand on a ridiculously tight shoestring budget but we don't want to be this close and miss out on the chance to see all of the beautiful islands just off the coast of Phuket.

Generally we prefer to do our own thing and make our own way as we travel along but after checking the price of ferries just to get to Phi Phi island, it turned out that the cheapest option was to book one of the special deals advertised. This actually worked out pretty well, especially as the lovely lady graciously let us change the whole package to suit what we wanted. As such, we have managed to arrange our boat to Phi phi (on which we found free coffee and little donut things - the one thing guaranteed to make me happy in the morning!), 2 nights accommodation on a little beach resort on Phi Phi Don island and a ferry back to Ao Nang, down the mainland coast.

Not that everything went swimmingly, we got to our resort place to find out we were only booked in for one night. All was well that ended well though and the lovely dude sorted it for us and showed us to our bungalow (bungalow is actually pushing it - we are staying in a shed with a bed and a fan and a toilet that you have to tip water down to flush). Still, beggars can't be choosers and the location is pretty dam perfect!

We also got a free lunch and a chance to go snorkeling all as part of our package. It was awesome (the snorkeling that is, well also the lunch, but specially the snorkeling) I've never been proper snorkeling before (evident in the amount of sea water I swallowed before figuring out that you have to swim just below the surface of the water). It was beautiful and we saw so many fishes - although how you can quite appreciate the grace and beauty of the underwater world when the bloody snorkel thing makes you sound like Darth Vader is a bit beyond me.

Today we swam, we ate, we had a thai massage and now it's about time to eat again! Who needs money anyway!

The great mistake

Too much sun and one too many pancakes seem to have fried my brain so not much to say today. The only reason to come into the wee internet cafe today (aside from the fact I'm too full of pancake to do much else) is to write about Brett's near fatal mistake ....

Last night we were in the midst of a big thunder storm (just to set the scene), as such, we splashed out on a real restaurant meal, not having much faith in the little umbrellas shielding the street cart stalls to keep us dry (or indeed safe from lightning strike). It was all very nice, we sat and ordered our drinks, then we ordered food. I just got a nice sensible veggie option thing and asked for medium spicy, then Brett ordered green thai curry and asked for it spicy. There's a mistake he won't make again in a hurry! In all fairness to him, we were happily devouring the full flavour spicy food in Indonesia, turns out though that Thailand is a whole different ball game! The first mouthfull was declared as spicy but nice, by the third there was little beads of sweat on his forehead, by the fifth, a little vain started popping in the side of his head and a little after that I was sat opposite this red eyed, sweaty, dribbling wreck of a man (well that was more or less how it went, with maybe a touch of artistic license used in the description - I didn't literally count each mouthful but I did watch things rapidly go downhill for him). I did a damn good job, not only managing to keep a straight face but also making helpful suggestions all the way through the meal. The waiter was far less sensitive and cracked a smile when he passed our table.

Anyway, Brett finished his curry (he couldn't really not - our budget's too tight to waste food). A giant chocolate milkshake and a banana pancake later, he was almost back to normal. Lesson well learnt! (And yes, we are eating way too many pancakes and yes I will probably return double the size of when I left, but man - pancakes here are so yummy!) Plus, they're on practically every corner so resist one stall, you still have to run the gaunlet of 3 more on the way home. That would take a stronger woman than me to resist!

Tomorrow we are off to Phi Phi island.

Phuket - Thailand

We have arrived in Phuket - land of the beautiful landscape and oh so much tacky tourism! We have been here for 2 nights already and the original plan was to fly in to Phuket but then escape as quickly as possible and go to some nice, tranquil island hideaway. Instead we have decided to embrace the tack and are having an awesome time! Maybe it is because we are glad to wash away the grime of Jakarta that we are seeing Phuket through rose tinted glasses, but for some reason the European football bars and rows upon rows of sun loungers lining the beach that would normally make me run far way are just all part of the easygoing vibe here!

Plus, while many of the many western bars and fake labels clothes markets do epitomise tourism here, there is also stunning scenery and amazingly clear blue water with jumping fishes and lush green hills. Today we spent most of the morning on the beach, swimming and spotting impressive degrees of sunburn and states of undress. Brett has been busy proving his apparently finely tuned ability to tell which country people are from just from their appearance (that we can't usually prove whether he is right or not does nothing to dampen his enthusiasm). I, meanwhile have been chuntering away about how the jet skies and speed boats are dangerously close to swimmers. Yep, we are surrounded my middle aged tourists so we too have become middle aged tourists to fit in!

So far we have found that we can get far nice accommodation here for our money than in Indonesia (or maybe we've just got better at sniffing good places out). We are kind of missing our Bali coffee though, coffee here is perfectly nice but I think we're still fully addicted to the full caffeine/sugar hit that you get from a Bali coffee! Also, while Brett and his book and constant be-friending of locals saw us through quite well as far as learning Indonesian went, Thailand has us stumped! It's not even real letters! I have just about, sort of mastered thank you, but every time I say it, I either get laughed at or told how to pronounce it correctly, so I keep repeating it over again until the kind person who tried to help me just gives up! Still, we have a few weeks yet to learn more!

Brett has so far made friends with the local pancake dude (a dam good contact!) and one of the tailors who just can't comprehend how someone can be so shabbily dressed day in, day out and is convinced that Brett secretly yearns for a well-cut suit!

I have developed some hideous, mutant growth thing on my left foot! I think it must be an allergic reaction to a bite of some kind but no cream is having any recognisable effect! I'm consoling myself that my mutant foot could prove to be a valuable medical science break-through that will ultimately make me rich and famous. Or maybe I'll be like one of the X-men with super powers. Brett is sceptical, but then that's what I have to put up with, travelling with a cynical non-believer who clearly can't see a potential medical breakthrough when it's staring him in the face!

Jakarta

Yesterday I felt like I did when I was a child and went to the village carnival and made it my mission to eat as much of all the available food as I could stuff in my little mouth and then I'd feel sick. We spent the day exploring Jakarta and I just ate my way round: everything from deep fried banana, to nasi goreng (mixed rice) to sateys to croissants and coffee - yep, it was good!

We explored Jakarta with the help of Brett and his map, he is one of those map-loving people who like to know where they're going and get there most efficiently. I am not one of these people, maps make my head hurt! Still, I suppose if you travel with one of them map-loving people occasionally you have to compromise sometimes and let the map lead you, so there we were, efficiently navigating our way round Jakarta - then we got a tuk tuk back anyway so I didn't really see the point in us not being lost!

It was a fun day, although Jakarta definitely doesn't make it onto my list of top 10 cities to visit, the food was pretty good! We still seem to be some kind of point of interest, and people kept taking our photos, then a couple even asked if they could come and be in a photo with us - random! Next stop Thailand where hopefully I won't be Quasimodo anymore.

Now I think I've waffled on enough lately so I'm off. Brett's just come in having agreed to take part in a survey outside, except they couldn't understand his accent and asked if he could speak English so they gave up on him. Thailand here we come!

To the big smoke and bright lights

Java has been a bit of a culture shock for us after the easygoing, beach lifestyle in Bali.Our oh-so-well-laid travel plans started to unravel slightly when we reached Surabaya. It was early morning and by then approximately 24 hours since we had any sleep. We didn't have our (already limited) wits about us and we were struggling to remember our own names, let alone the little Indonesian we know. This lead to us being completely ripped off by a little dweeb of a taxi driver who drove us around the houses before dumping us at the most expensive hotel in Surabaya and charging us 90,000 rupiah for the privilege . A long walk, a few swear words (from the ever eloquent Ozzy) and a nice taxi driver later, we arrived at a more middle budget hotel. It cost us 40 odd dollars which completely blew our budget for the day but it had shiny floors and a swimming pool and complimentary bottled water and I was not walking another metre of that damned town with my backpack on!

Neither of us were particularly inspired by Surabaya, it's very polluted and apart from a few impressive statues and plenty of street food options, we couldn't find much to write home about. It lacked the charm of a little village but also lacked any of the bright lights and excitement of a city (mind you, seeing it for one day through tired eyes may not have given us the best impression). One thing that I suppose was quite a refreshing change was that we appeared to be the only tourists in town (I imagine maybe there were others, but we didn't see any, they were probably sensibly hiding away in their posh hotel!). I especially got stared at - a lot! It's quite unnerving, I feel like some kind of freak, people even pointed and stared (and I was well covered so it wasn't because I looked like some kind of Western harlot!). I guess I just have to accept that I am the Quasimodo of Surabaya

My favourite thing in Surabaya (posh hotel aside) was our street dinner! We found a few food carts just down the road from our hotel and stopped for something to eat. We've eaten at a few street places now, but at this one I got special treatment! The man seemed to be amused by me and cooked everything fresh, in front of me, chatting away as he cooked. Usually I'm very interested in eating and less so in cooking but it was really fascinating to watch him go with everything he needed on the back of his tiny cart. The noodles got dunked into a mystery pot of hot liquid while he chopped everything up and put it in the wok-pan thing with lots of random spices. Then the noodles were added to the wok-pan along with some mystery liquid and fried up good and proper. It was delicious! Me and Brett ate and shared a glass of coconut milk while everyone stood around us and stared and made fun of us in Indonesian. (This was a lot nicer than it sounds, as they were very good natured about it, or maybe we're just getting used to being stared at!)

We left Surabaya bright and early to get the fast train straight to Jakarta. We paid double what we expected (apparently because it was a Friday!) When we found our seat, our window had all the reinforced glass shattered on the outside - apparently people sometimes throw rocks at the train as it passes! Awesome!

With the price we paid for our tickets, we figured when they handed us cups of coffee and juice that they were complimentary - fools! Thank god we were presented with our bill and wised up before the carts of cigarettes and toy trains went through or it could have been a very expensive trip! The toilet on the Surabaya to Jakarta train was a hole in the floor of the train. I don't so much have an issue with this, I just wish that people would aim better so that wee actually goes down the hole. With the smell in the toilet, there was no point trying to convince myself it was just water on the floor! Poor flip flops - they have a rough time of it sometimes! Ah, the glamorous life of a wind swept traveller!

Now we are in the bright lights of Jakarta. Now this is a proper city! No more rip-off taxi drivers for us, we got a motorised tuk tuk thing from the train station. It wasn't comfortable but it is definitely the way to enter a city! We arrived at Jalan Jaksa, a cheap and cheerful street complete with food, music, twinkly lights and lady boys - this is more like it! Surabaya eat your heart out!

Bali to Java (and a bit more on Bali)

Well, whatever we lost in terms of a "genuine local experience" on our last ferry ride, we definitely gained on our bus/ferry trip to Java! A lovely taxi man got us from the middle of Kuta out to the main bus station (we bartered down the price before getting in the taxi but then he was so nice that we ended up paying the original asking price anyway). The bus station was just one big, fat hive of activity and people hassling us to buy tickets from them whether their bus was going in the right direction for us or not. I have to admit I looked oh so longingly at the big, luxury, air conditioned coaches, but for 1/4 of the price we clambered on to the little local bus. It had wheels and a driver but that was about where the similarities ended. Our bus was full of local people and a chicken. The locals were in general very friendly, the chicken looked like it could think of many places it'd rather be than on that bus (I know how it felt!). My poor stomach got fully jolted for 4 hours and digested a generous dose of carbon monoxide but it held up well. In fact, our bus ride was great in the end! As soon as you leave the tourist mecca, you travel along a long and winding road, passing rice paddys, villages and beautiful, tropical greenery. There is a big Hindu celebration across Bali on 5th March, effigies are made to be paraded and then burnt to banish demons (at least that's that vague details I've managed to pick up when I've asked people but they probably shouldn't be relied on to be factually correct or anything!) . These effigies are giant and spectacular, we passed many along the way.

The ferry ride across to Java was even better, leaving just at sunset in calm water (it could have been romantic except for the people staring at us and crowding round to talk to us). We seemed to be the only white tourists on the boat and managed to attract a random haggle of people who wanted to use us to practise their English, or ask us questions (with those who could speak English acting as interpreters for those who couldn't) it was all a bit confusing but kind of cool. We were warned that we may get a lot of hassle at the ferry landing so I had the bright idea to leave in the middle of a crowd and blend in. Bloomin' genius plan, because Brett at 6 foot 4 plus me, carrying our backpacks are never going to stick out like sore thumbs anyway in a sea of Indonesian people whose average height was maybe to my neck! Either way, we got a fair few stares but very little hassle - maybe because we arrived at night, maybe we just got lucky or maybe because we looked like big, white giants?!

With all the fleeting stops in internet cafes and battling with sticky keyboards (I don't question why they're sticky, but they just always are!) I forget to write so much stuff that I think at the time I should write. So I'm going to scrawl a couple of extra things on Bali before shutting up today:

Families: There's something very special about the role of families and communities here in Bali. We keep commenting on it so it has to be worth writing, it's just different from what we're used to back home. Children in particular just seem incredibly happy and self sufficient, helping out at home, playing together, always smiling. We have literally heard just one Balinese child cry since we got here, even the babies seem always contented. We met one family when we ate in their little warung shop front, The owner worked there with his wife and son (who worked at a hotel in the mornings and came back to help his Dad in the evenings), the grandchildren padded around and local kids and friends drifted in and out and stopped for food and a chat. It was such a lovely, easygoing environment and so close knit yet friendly to us!

Corruption: Yeah, I suppose you could say that all governments are corrupt everywhere in the world, but general consensus is that corruption is especially rife in Indonesia! To get a job as a Government official (eg, police) you have to pay 70 million rupiah. Considering that the average wage is about 1 million a month (and that's probably a generous estimate) this is a ridiculous amount of money and I guess leads to a career of bribery and corruption. I think this may well be why communities rally together so well as they sure as hell can't rely on the government to help them out. Speaking to people, we've learnt how much of a struggle it can be to afford education and many people have had to drop out of school early to find work (and they still speak better English than I can ever dream of speaking Indonesian)!

Tourism: This is my first time in Bali, but even for me it's clear to see just how much and how quickly tourism has changed Bali. New hotels are literally being knocked up on every available spot of land and the good old Ozzy influence is strong. The streets of Kuta are riddled with Australians in varying degrees of drunkness, proudly wearing their Bintang t-shirts! Brett spends a lot of time apologising for being Australian, but for better or worse, tourism must now be one of the most essential industries here now. I still wish I'd come in the 70s or even the 80s when apparently there was very little traffic, way fewer tourists, more natural scenery left, but hey, it's still got a lot of charm in 2011.

Chickens: I wouldn't want to be a chicken in Bali (thinking about it, I probably wouldn't choose to be a chicken full stop), but still, I specially wouldn't want to be a chicken in Bali. We've passed a couple of chicken lorries and they are literally piled high with chickens in these wire cages, bits of chicken hang out at all angles and they look either half dead or very sorry for themselves! Cock fighting is also pretty popular here. Generally animals in Bali seem perfectly well and contented. The many cows (introduced to us as the Bali tigers) seem well happy and contented with their lot. I just feel that the chickens get a rough deal.

Anyway, moving on! As I said, we are now in Java. So far we seem to be treated with a bit more suspicion than we received in Bali. That said, I will forever be grateful to a shop man who by some miracle understood Brett's miming of a train (complete with arm actions and sounds) and drew us a map to the train station. There we found a lovely lady who could speak English and was able to tell us the times and prices that we needed to travel on to Surabaya in Java. We traveled Executive - check us out, going all posh again! The train ran overnight so that we landed in Surabaya at about 6 in the morning.

The posh boat option

Well it was a bit of a hairy boat trip for a bit there but glad to say we made it back to mainland Bali without drowning or vomiting - a great result all round I'll say! My mysterious poisoning seemed to stay with me through yesterday so what with that and slightly rough weather we decided to abandon the rickety 8am ferry ride from Musa Lembongan and upgraded to a little speed boat type option. This was all well and good in theory, in practice it was still fairly budget, it just went faster through the water. While everybody else crammed inside the little boat, Brett, me and 2 other people opted for riding outside (stupidity prevailing every time). This was the fun option, it was also the option that saw us absolutely drenched from head to toe as a massive wave of water covered the top of the boat and landed straight on us! Even more reassuring was the boat guy who then proceeded to grab a little scoop and started to bail water out of the back of the boat. Anyway, like I said - we made it so all's well that ends well!

Back in Bali after the peace of the island, you realise just how hectic it is here in Kuta, and just how much pollution there is from the hoards of scooters! Mind you, it is also a fair bit cheaper. We found (when I say we, I mean Brett found, while I waited with our bags in a cafe with a nice iced drink) a room for just 80,000 rupiah (approx $8) for the night. I mean it had a bed and a toilet so we've got nothing to complain about but we pretty much got what we paid for. And it didn't even come with toilet paper, we had to buy that extra!

Today we are leaving Bali and starting our journey across Java - we have some basic, vague travel plans along the lines of getting a bus then a ferry then maybe searching out a train to get as far as Jakarta. So far we have tried and failed to get any concrete information on bus or train timetables so the plan is to go up to the main bus station, find a bus and go from there.

With a fool proof plan like that, what could possibly go wrong?!

Was it the Bintang?

Oh boy, I was as sick as a dog last night! I don't quite know where it all went wrong, it started out as a perfectly pleasant morning on our tropical island.We had some breakfast, had a minor argument, made up, went for a swim in the beautiful blue water and then went off exploring the island.We swam at some more beautiful beaches, had a lovely pancake over-looking the sea. By the evening we met up with another couple who were just having some evening bintangs (beers) so we joined them. We had a great night, ate some delicious curry, played some jenga, chatted, went to bed, and then at some hour in the morning (god knows when) it hit me and I was just sick as a dog! Now Brett,sympathetic soul that he is, was quick to blame the Bintang for my incessant vomiting, but really, how could a few innocent beers possibly make me that sick?! Trouble is I haven't found anything else to blame yet as everyone else who ate the same food as me were fine. Still, I will find something to blame that's for sure, because it was not the bintang!

Today was leisurely to say the least, we canned the idea of a surf and joined the Nusa Lembongan scooter brigade. We saw some great sights but right now my poor emptied belly is rumbling so it's time to get it some food (and maybe a Bintang?!)

Riding along in a holey boat

Well we've splashed out on our last expensive tourist meal, said goodbye to Brett's mum and moved on. We are now on an island.

The island is Nusa Lombongan a couple of hours boat ride off the coast of Bali. The plan was to get the local ferry over this morning, although in reality the boat was full of tourists and we got ripped off on the price. At least it was an authentically rickety, wooden boat we traveled in or we'd have been disappointed!

Now, I'm pretty good with isolation but it does take a bit of getting used to. We left the frenzy of Kuta in Bali and landed at Nusa Lombongan in the pouring rain (when I say landed, it was more of a half jump, half fall off the back of this wooden boat, a trip over the rope and a desperate stumble for shore, stubbing my toe on the way), but anyway, we landed. We all ran for shelter at the nearest hotel and peering out through the rain, a wave of panic came over me, it looked pretty desolate and isolated and I was seriously worried about whether we could get a hot coffee, and man - did I ever need a hot coffee! Turns out this was an irrational fear, heaps of tourists come here every day not to mention locals, of course they don't all get by without caffeine. But right there, standing with my bag in the rain, I was worried!

We found our hotel, which certainly ain't the Hilton but it is definitely an upgrade from the last place (which it turns out had a friendly room mouse to accompany the broken sink and stained bed sheets). We had a big cup of Bali coffee and splashed out on some hot chips and the world looked good again.

Nusa Lombongan is still quite a culture shock after the main tourist area of Bali, it is a very poor island and the villages are mostly made up of just shack housing (although kept pretty dam clean and tidy). There are lots of boats, lots of chickens and lots of motor bikes to rent. As we're here off season there is a nice balance of locals and tourists and everyone so far is chatty and friendly. The pace of life here suits me just fine. What else? - Oh yeah, there's beautiful white sand and blue waters and some good surf breaks around the island. Now we've found coffee and food and the sun is just about shining, the island life is not too shabby at all.

Oh and it turns out that a cyclone did hit Darwin and we managed to get on the last plane to fly from the airport before they closed it, so I'm taking this as a good omen for our travels (fingers crossed anyway because it's crossed my mind that I don't like our chances if a tsunami should hit here) Na, it'll be fine, there's a big old hill right behind us. Now it's time for food.

Mongoose Poo Coffee

Well surf camp is now over - no more surf camp geekiness for us! I was just starting to really enjoy it as well and get over the fear, plus we met some really, really good guys there, but that said I've probably got enough reef cuts and bruises and welts across my body now and Brett has some hideous looking sea lice plague all over him so maybe a few days out of the sea are no bad thing!

Brett's mum decided to come to spend a week in Bali which has seen an end to our cheap and easy living for a wee moment. We left surf camp and checked into a pretty basic hotel with a few odd chunks missing from the plaster and a few stains on the bed sheets and a dubious water system, but ce la vie, we can't always be living it up and after a quick pep talk to myself I concluded I have definitly slept in worse places. Plus we get breakfast included, complete with coffee so who am I to complain?!

Today the 3 of us did a day trip to Ubud. Me and Brett had already planned to spend a day or so there but as his mum wanted to see it we arranged a driver to take us up just for a day. To be honest it's hard to get much of an impression of the place in the short time we were there, it's inland and up towards the mountains so you pass some beautiful lush green scenery and rice fields on the way up. We spent a grand total of an hour in Ubud itself which is quite a tourist trap but has some genuinely beautiful art and market goods and temples. We were then hustled on to go up to look at the volcanic mountain which in my opinion is a bit over-rated. I'm probably a bit spolit having just been in New Zealand so I'm a bit like "oh yeah, there's another stunning mountain view," but if Ubud is a tourist trap, the Mountain top is like a big fat laser beam riddled tourist prison. You exit the car, pick your way through the mass of people trying to sell to you and are somehow hustled into this grand building where you are handed a towel and asked to sit down for your 100,000 rupiah buffet. You're sat down before you even realiuse that you didn't even want or ask for a buffet. Now 100,000 rupiah is only approximately $10, but then me and Brett have been eating fantastic, fresh meals for 6 - 10,0000 rupiah so comparitively it is a bloomin' fortune! We escaped from that buffet on principle as much as anything, but then still hungry we ended up barteting down the cost of another buffet style meal which was nothing to write home about but I suppose did only cost $6.

Probably my favourite part of my day was the fruit stalls on the way up the mountain with beautiful displays of fruits, I think we sampled more of the fruits for free than we actually paid for. And that was buying from genuine locals as opposed to the Tourist company buffets. Ooh, and our laundry which we picked up all washed and dried and ironed and folded. My clothes look better than they've ever looked in their lifes - this has made my day! Ah, the small things!

Oh yeah and finally - mongoose poo coffee! Supposedly a much sought after speciality, where the best coffee beans are supposedly eaten by mongooses and then pass through them whole, to be cleaned and made into coffee. This I had to try. In all honestly it tasted just like any normal coffee (such a connoiseur!) but at least I can say I've tried poo coffee!

Rubber time

Hmm, all the Bali coffee in the world would not have been enough for me today to successfully brave the stupid scary Bali waves! Don't get me wrong, I did try but I failed! I got a few extra scars to add to my collection but basically it was a big fat wave wash-out! Kelly Slater need not worry, I won't be any threat to him just yet! On the bright side I survived not only the killer waves but also the most polluted sea I've ever seen in my life (not that I want to paint the beaches here in a bad light but get the wrong beach on the wrong tide turn and it is just a mass of brown scum with things that definitely do not belong in the sea floating by). I think the pollution flows in from rivers and is quite sad to see it so bad. We're just blissfully working on a 4 hour rule - basically if we haven't died after 4 hours then chances are we escaped any long term effects! Probably not a fool proof rule but it's keeping us happy for now.

Everybody else may come here for the waves or the Bintang (local beer) or the culture (all of which are great) but I think probably my favourite thing so far is the Bali "Rubber time" - nobody is on a schedule, things just happen when they happen. It is a lovely peaceful, stress-free way to live and one that I have embraced wholeheartedly! Lets be honest, I wasn't exactly miss super rushed stress head before so I have now slowed to a near stop pace which is driving Brett mad (but hey, he gives away my food!!). The Balinese have a saying that is p'lang, p'lang which means slowly slowly and may just be my new life moto.

I have just had my first experience of using a toilet that is just a hole in the floor right here in this very internet cafe (surprisingly easy to use thanks to years of training living in the countryside and weeing in fields). We also had our first rice meal with no cutlery - I got complimented that I eat naturally with my fingers just like a local - sorry ma but years of drumming good table manners into me and clearly it's my destiny to eat with my fingers! I think it my ability came less from skill and more from the fact that I had mosquito repellent all over my fingers which tasted disgusting so I had to sort of throw food into my mouth. But hey, you take compliments when you can get them!

Now it's our last night of surf camp so we're going back for a Bintang and some sleep.

the sun is shining and the weather is fine

Well I can't believe I tried to blame Bali for me feeling under the weather - it was nothing to do with the lovely Bali food, it was those bloody malaria tablets I'm taking. Apparently if you actually read the instructions it says never take them just before lying down and there was me taking them just before bed and wondering why I woke up feeling shit.

Bali food so far has been really good to us - more rice than I've ever eaten in my life but with beautiful flavors and mixed with fresh vegetables (and often some unidentifiable ingredients). We're trying to eat all the local stuff as much as possible, partly because we are poor and partly because it so far is the best food. Mostly it's a lucky dip of what we may get, especially when we get food from a little motorbike man, but as someone said to me last night - you probably won't know what it is and you probably won't want to know so just eat and enjoy. It's a big step for a semi vegetarian like me but, when in Rome and all that! Plus my main saving grace is that a lot of things that would traditionally be served with meat in get stuff with veggies or tofu because it's cheaper.

Bali coffee has been a god-send. It's sweet and strong and seen me through many a morning already! I mean I don't like to admit it but basically I'm a woos (I'm not sure if an official spelling for Woos exists or not so I'm going with this one), but I definitely am one, so early in the morning standing on some picture perfect sandy beach watching the curling waves and feeling a bit worse for wear, my first thought is less "I can't wait to get surfing" and more, "shit this looks big and scary and I need coffee before I can deal with this." Sitting viewing the beach from a little shady warung (which I'm pretty sure means restaurant) with some good strong Bali coffee makes the world just seem like a better place!

We're still surf camp geeks, going from surf spot to surf spot and getting just a little bit more damaged everyday. It is a lot of fun (especially with a couple of bali coffees in you to give a protective layer of invincibility). Brett started to write a blog 2 days ago after we'd been surfing, he got as far as the title and the following paragraph before getting distracted by more people to talk to:


Holy shit comes to mind, wave smashes over our heads, board and body everywhere. welcome to seminyak beach the place beginner surfers come to die, yup we were not quite ready for the ferocius wave that met us.

Incidentally Bali has turned Brett into some soft socialist hippie type which is usually my role in this relationship so I'm getting all confused. It's great because we keep chatting to Balinese people and making friends and learning more Indonesian but the more friends we make the more my stuff keeps disappearing because Brett gives it all away. I was searching through my bag today for my wee snacket of nuts only to turn around to see our driver munching into them and sipping on a coke that Brett also bought. I mean I think it's great and all but really he should know better than to mess with my food (Brett that is not the driver who was entirely innocent in the whole scenario).

The day Bali almost finished me off

Well never let it be said that alcohol stimulates creativity, I spent all day yesterday filling my head with amazing sights and sounds of Bali and the best I can say is "it's not too shabby!"

I mean it is very hard to sum up especially after just one day of being driven around all wide eyed and excited. Bali is certainly a very vibrant place with stunning stone and wood carvings and colourful shops and beautiful Hindu carvings and shrines and offerings of flowers to bring safety and good luck. It is also very sprawling with traditional mixed with the familiar bright signs for McDonalds, Starbucks, Coca Cola and "Big Aussie Steaks." Traffic is apparently lawless with a 2 lane road easily stretched out to a 5 lane road with some creative maneuvering. Horns are just part of the musical chorus of the roads but here they are not a sound of aggression, just part of the complex network of the roads that work in a seemingly effortlessly fluid mass (well the vehicles move not actually the roads).

The people we have met so far have been just genuinely lovely. Our first night here, we had the 2 night security dudes chasing around the hotel after I mimed (really badly) that we needed new matches for our Mosquito coil. They turned up with first a giant torch followed by cigarettes and mosquito spray before finally getting what we were after. We are temporarily staying in a beautiful, out-of-the-way hotel while our "surf camp" is being renovated. It suits me just perfectly - we get free coffee and cakes in the afternoon, a magical outdoor kind of bathroom with flowers and plants growing in it. Fresh coffee and croissants in the morning - yep, life here is good!

Today my pathetic excuse of a body almost let me down, I woke up with my patchwork self aching all over from surfing yesterday, my arms would barely move let alone paddle, I still have the oh-so-attractive patchy sunburnt legs and I seemed to develop some kind of case of Bali belly overnight that did not bode well for a day out with all men, surfing and no proper toilets in sight! Luckily I swallowed a can of concrete and the body cooperated long enough to pull it together and have a good surf followed by my now staple diet of rice and vegetables. Plus I do get specially looked after so there are some advantages of being the only girl!

Brett meanwhile is in his element, despite having a hole in his ear from a surfing crash, he's off chatting to anyone and everyone who will listen and trying his best to say everything in Indonesian (makes for limited conversation but people seem to like him anyway)! Now it is apparently "necessary" to leave at 7am in the morning to get the best surf so I'm going to give the poor battered body some sleep now.

Bali

Well Bali is not too shabby at all! In fact it may just be paradise.

Yep, we made it here through the fury of the cyclone, it was a bit hairy for a second there as our plane was flung sideways and bounced around a bit - there was a sort of nervous laugh that reverberated through the cabin as the plane lurched but we made it and it is just lovely here! In fact my first and only complaint so far is the tiny computer I'm trying to use and my poor fat, beer addled fingers can't work the tiny keys.

Like true geeks we enrolled in surf camp for our first week here. As a direct result of this I am now a broken patchwork person, with a reef wound on my foot, red raw ribs and hip bones, and bright red backs of my legs - a true Brit abroad! But the people are just lovely and the waves are worth all the pain I am now feeling. I surfed waves I'd never normally have the guts to thanks to a lovely local dude with extreme patience. Yep, I reckon we could become true surf camp geeks!

Brett has quickly made a reputation for himself as the crazy man with the book as he keeps grabbing the locals to practice his Indonesian. Me, I just about remember the basics of hello and thanks you, and fruit - I don't know why but fruit somehow sticks! So as long as all I need to do is order a fruit salad I am now fluent in Indonesian.

Going to give up on the tiny keyboard and wander in search of food, and maybe another beer (I have also learnt Bintang, which is the name of the local beer but means Star). There's so much more to say about this beautiful place but that can wait for another day.

Flying day!

Today is flying day - at 7.30 pm today we are due to leave Darwin and fly into sunny Bali. Today is the worst weather I've ever experienced in Darwin, we were kept awake all night by winds and rains in a house that felt like it was going to fall apart (possibly a slight exaggeration but I'm from Cornwall - we don't have tropical storms in Cornwall)! Now it turns out we're on Cyclone watch - bloody awesome! Nothing like starting our travels in the middle of a bloomin' cyclone. And we're flying with a budget airline so no doubt cyclone or no cyclone we'll be crammed on the plane anyway and then I guess it's just hope for the best.
I'm ready for a cocktail when (or if) we make it to Bali!

To say we're all organised would be a blatant lie but, all being well cyclone-wise, I have high hopes that we'll at least make the plane. I'm now on the important job of chomping my way through any remaining things left in the fridge, got a few things to chuck in my bag (heavy but not exceeding the weight limit so I'll call that a success at light packing!) and then we're off.

Travel insurance: A necessary evil even I can appreciate that (at least when your credit card situation is as close to the edge as mine!) but necessary or not it still feels like a lot of money for nothing! To make matters worse it turned out that in my current situation I don't qualify for any kind of travel insurance. As a UK citizen I can't get an Australian policy, but as I'm already in Australia at the start of my trip, I can't get a UK policy - hmm! I've finally managed to pay double the going rate for a policy from the friendly Flight Centre people. It covers pretty much everything (except I think for cyclones!) but hi-jacking - bring it on, I'm covered!

So Bali here we come (fingers crossed!)

The Beginning - Darwin, Australia

Our journey is beginning in Darwin, Australia, now just 4 days until we set off for sunny Bali.

Me and Brett met in Darwin and we keep coming back here to spend time with his daughter Jaime. I will always love Darwin, it's like no other place in Australia, in fact it's like no other place I've been. To describe Darwin I'd say it's like a rough and ready tropical paradise, things that were outdated 20 years ago in other cities still go in Darwin. That's all part of it's charm. Any attempt to change the ways up here is treated with disdain - "bloody soft southerners trying to impose their southern ways on us." (with maybe a few stronger swear words). The people are collectively the most down to earth Australians I've come across. Work hard, drink until you're s*** faced - that's the Territory way. But there's also a certain old fashioned level of respect and manners. That said, for all my fond memories, I won't be sad to leave this time round. We've been here 2 months now - and with no spare money in the middle of the wet season, that's felt like a long time! It's been a quiet 2 months in general. It's ironic that the same town I spent 4 months in an alcohol fuelled blur I should return to as a practically T-total, yoga loving, responsible step-mother figure! I like to think this isn't the end of my more hedonistic ways, just a bit of a necessary break.

The NT News - This is Darwin's only daily newspaper and where I've been spending my days getting some newspaper journalism experience. The paper itself is sort of like a cross between the Sun and the Cornish Times (although probably more like the former than the latter). When there's no crocodile dramas to report, the headlines are full of Darwin's weekly wet T-shirt competition, fondly known as "Tits out Tuesdays" - will they or won't they close it down? Maybe to some not the subject to engage an entire state in heated debate, but hey - that's Darwin! It's a strange world working at the newspaper, where business thrives on disaster and every upheaval is a potential lead story. I loved it! I hate to say it but it's true, it's exciting and the more sensational the better! Oh dear - good bye integrity, we had a good run but the dark side is calling me!

Anyway, this is nothing to do with our travels from Indonesia around some of South East Asia but it does set the scene for where we begin our journey. We've bought a 2nd hand lonely planet for South East Asia, we've got our fly spray, we've spent a small fortune on malaria tablets (which I am now dam well taking as it has just bankrupted me getting a prescription in Australia but I was warned on pain of death from my parents that I had to get!), we're now almost ready to go.

And I am determined that I will travel light! That is properly light, not my usual style of cramming my one rucksack full until it's bursting at the seams and then smiling sweetly at the airport check-in people as I hope they don't notice that my bag is actually 5 kilos over the max weight limit! Not this time my friends, this is the new, improved, light travelling me!